Choices

Choices make you ungrateful. When you only have a bagel as an option, that bagel is infinitely precious. But if you have all kinds of breakfast foods you could eat at various locations, then nothing really seems appealing and you start to wonder about the point of it all when it comes to eating breakfast. 

For the first time in a couple of years that felt both fleeting and long, I have a lot of choices. I have the urge to pursue those choices one by one but at the same time, nothing seems urgently appealing. It’s the ennui of taking things for granted now that they are available.

I remind myself to see what is humble as precious. It doesn’t matter how much time or how many choices I have at my disposal. If I am not grateful for what I am able to encounter, in that moment of encounter, it will be as if I have no choice but only a burden of indecisiveness, no time to spend but only days that stretch anxiously into a future that I can’t imagine and past that I am afraid I’ve wasted.