Distractedness Feeds Distractedness

In the Plum Village tradition’s 5 Mindfulness Trainings, the fourth training, “Loving Speech and Deep Listening,” states “I am committed to speaking truthfully using words that inspire confidence, joy, and hope.” I find that the more I am drained, distracted, and stressed out about life’s obligations, the less I am able to practice loving, mindful speech. I don’t listen carefully and my responses to people are perfunctory and distracted. They arise from an underlying annoyance that I feel toward their desire for attention that is shaped to their own terms without a regard for how busy and exhausted I am. So I make up excuses to push them away. My responses are shallow and don’t truly reflect the way I feel. I am not truthful. 

But the more I respond and listen to people in a careless, distracted manner, the more drained and distracted I feel because I am letting my distractedness determine how I react to everything. On the other hand, if I force myself to come to a sudden halt and mindfully process what I am hearing or reading from another person, and I respond with care and generosity toward them, then the overall scattering of my attention that was draining my energy stops. I am able to root myself and recharge, the way a tree sucks water from the soil up its trunk. I feel the effort that goes into this act the way I feel the force of the tree sucking up water through its vessels against gravity. But it is what keeps me grounded and flourishing.