For when I am weak

“For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:10

I substitute despair for weak. When I am in despair, I am strong. When I am in despair, I come to a point where I have to acknowledge that I cannot depend on myself. I have no strength or the capacity to move forward. I feel hopeless because I do not see any way or resources within my reach to change what I am experiencing. Hopelessness is a form of frustration.

When I accept as a fact that there is nothing within just myself to help myself, that I’ve been all this time looking for strength in an insufficient place, then somehow I feel emptied out in the most beautiful way. I do not have to try to hold on. There is nothing to hold onto. 

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Galatians 2:20

I must be emptied out before God can live in me. When it is not me that lives, the range of possibilities of what my days could look like seems wider. I do not groan about the way the past or the future has worn me out, already. I am now. I act out a divine calling, whatever shape that might take today or over the course of my life. In this letting go, I experience the strength of God.