Image of the Greater Spirit

Somebody asked me if I believed in free will. My immediate answer was of course, yes. But despite the lack of hesitancy in giving such an affirmative answer, I feel that the separation of my own will from another is not very clear. I aspire to live in a way that reflects the greater Spirit. By having an aspiration like this, I must be driven by my own volition. Yet, the greater Spirit and I are one; we are interwoven just as everything in this world is interwoven with each other and in and with the Spirit. That means that all that I embody, including my will, might simply be that of the Spirit. And that state of being contained by the Spirit is the aspiration. The aspiration is already fulfilled. 

Every morning, I pray a verse from Rabindranath Tagore’s Fruit Gathering—”When I thought I would mould you, an image from my life for men to worship, I brought my dust and desires and all my coloured delusions and dreams. When I asked you to mould with my life an image from your heart for you to love, you brought your fire and force, and truth, loveliness, and peace.” I wonder if in wrestling with the idea of whether or not complete free will exists, or trying to figure out whether the chicken comes first or the egg so to speak, we are unknowingly bringing our dust and desires to control, find answers, or feed the ego. A surrender for my life to be molded in a way that it reflects the true nature of goodness, a relinquishing of a sense of control over the image we project onto the world, might be the starting point of the beautiful dance between our will toward what is true and the truth that already sustains and creates us.